My Fake Fake Tan

One funny anomaly of chemotherapy: instant holiday glow. It's taken me four sessions to realise this. What with me already being the pastiest Brit in North London, I expected a post-chemo complexion so pallid it would get me cast in Twilight 4. Or whatever it's going to be called.

I've always been anti fake tan, it just doesn't look convincing on me - but I must admit I love a real tan (safely only of course, that's the beauty editor in me - SPF 30 or SHADE). I feel healthier, hotter, skinnier. Yes, skinnier. I believe it holds the same slimming properties of the LBD - less contrast in the shadows or some such.

So imagine my confused delight when I got undressed in front of Claire after session 2, and she asked me if I'd been fake tanning. In the interests of Look Good Feel Better, ok yes, it would have been a perky idea, but seriously, I hate fake tan.

I always admire my hands when I have a real tan - my more vain and biologically diverse version of navel gazing. So there I was gazing at my hands for a few weeks before I asked DadJokes (always brutally honest) if I looked tanned. 'hmm, maybe? Definitely yellowish I'd say, maybe it's jaundice?'

Today my sister came round and said she'd never noticed how cute my freckles were. Freckles! Another happy outcome of a holiday dose of vitamin D.

Eventually I got it confirmed by Pat, my lovely chemo nurse. 'Yes, some people get pigmentation. It goes away though, don't worry.'

Don't worry? I of course want my weird fake fake tan to stay, it's non streaky, sets off my Jil Sander inspired Mani perfectly, doesn't cost several hundred pounds in anxious air miles (I hate flying), and makes me look and therefore feel healthy when really I should be the opposite.

If you're not so blessed (!) I can recommend Decleor Aroma Tan. Or rather best friend, fake tan fan, Beauty Writer Katie can.

It doesn't give you freckles though, ha!


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