Thursday, 17 March 2011

Me v's My Lashes - The Battle Ain't Over

But, sad to say, I think I may be losing. There were several hints, first and most obvious - vastly fewer lashes. This isn't as blatant as it seems; apparently you can lose up to 50% of head hair without anyone noticing. I assume this is also the case for eyelashes, since I was counting 4 or 5 on my cheeks every time I veeery tentatively removed any makeup, but everyone else said, 'ooh, have you gone for false lashes then?' (that'll be the RapidLash).

This becomes even more indisputable when I go to put on mascara. With no barrier of natural lashes to buffer the blackness, I frequently turn up to meetings with an up-all-night-doing-who-knows-what smudge to the lash line. Which I don't entirely hate.

It's the constant weeping that gets me now. Any little gust of wind - in fact it doesn't have to be weather related- it could be someone waiving an invoice in my general direction, will have me trickling tears and ruining my carefully corrected smudge application within seconds. Who knew eyelashes were so biologically important? Needless to say crying of any kind is not helpful for the norm-seeking cancer sufferer. 'oh my GOD, are you OK?' Oh, thaat. No eyelashes.'

On the upside, you know how all the books say people love you more if they think you think they're funny (this is how I got DadJokes). I rejoice in how cute it is to see the delight in my friends faces when I can't control my tears of 'laughter' at their 'hilarity'. What selective memories these people have. Still, if it gets me more love, then I can forgo some lashes.

In a bid to conquer the Avril Lavigne smudge effect though, I'll trust in makeup. Up till now my old faithful liquid eyeliner has been working wonders. Applied right it can pretty much cheat lashes anyway, since it does what the real things do - elongate the eye, define it, make flicky shapes at the edges, but I'm finding it a bit boring doing the same thing everyday, plus I think a little off balanced having fewer and fewer bottom lashes - didn't think I'd miss these ones as much!

So a happy accident on another mad rush for the taxi man before work: trusted eyeliner flick, badly applied, had to come off (CAREFULLY - my remaining lashes are PRECIOUS). Rooting through back-up makeup kit for a bit of black Kohl, which I never wear, I could only find embarrassingly 80's blue.

So now I am reunited with my old experimental friend, Nars Eyeliner in Blue Lotus. Where once I'd smudged it along my top lashes, made it into a slightly too electric smoke (hence relegation to the back up kit), This is now the PERFECT extra definition for bottom lashes only. Black would be too hard, brown too dull (colour is only ever a good thing for me these days), and drawn right along the inside rim, I don't even need the liquid flick on the top lashes. Plus, the magic of colour means my eyes look more, well, colourful. (Someone said ginger recently - ginger eyes? at least I have appropriate hair to match).

For now at least, the battle continues. When I feel the need for falsies, I'll report back, but for now, even 5 or 6 measly hangers on, mascara'd with some Blue Lotus Nars or liquid liner, gives enough of an illusion of lashes that even my iphone camera is fooled. Seriously, there is hardly any hair here. The tissues are a testament to that.

p.s. Thanks to lovely Helen in the office who maybe found my invoice induced crying a bit too much and left the kind gift above on my desk.


  1. Hi Sophie

    I have just finished chemotherapy for BC, and now my eyelashes are starting to grow back. I have little stumpy bits, and the return of the weepies!

    I miss wearing mascara - and found eye makeup just too much whilst undergoing chemo (I suffered badly with sore and weepiness) so am really looking forward to it again.

    Best of luck - find out how I got on

  2. Hi Sophie,

    I came across your blog through the Look website, and I want to tell you that I love it - you are an inspiration and I absolutely love reading it. I admire you so much for what you are doing, and I wish you all the best on the road to recovery. I have featured you on my fashion blog this week, as my Spotlight On... feature, feel free to have a look!

    Best wishes

  3. Hi Sophie!

    The lashes do seem to grow back in, even as they are falling out, so you may never be totally hairless in that area. At least that was the case with mine. I tried falsies, but just couldn't seem to get the hang of em!

    Hang in there! =)