This becomes even more indisputable when I go to put on mascara. With no barrier of natural lashes to buffer the blackness, I frequently turn up to meetings with an up-all-night-doing-who-knows-what smudge to the lash line. Which I don't entirely hate.
It's the constant weeping that gets me now. Any little gust of wind - in fact it doesn't have to be weather related- it could be someone waiving an invoice in my general direction, will have me trickling tears and ruining my carefully corrected smudge application within seconds. Who knew eyelashes were so biologically important? Needless to say crying of any kind is not helpful for the norm-seeking cancer sufferer. 'oh my GOD, are you OK?' Oh, thaat. No eyelashes.'
On the upside, you know how all the books say people love you more if they think you think they're funny (this is how I got DadJokes). I rejoice in how cute it is to see the delight in my friends faces when I can't control my tears of 'laughter' at their 'hilarity'. What selective memories these people have. Still, if it gets me more love, then I can forgo some lashes.
In a bid to conquer the Avril Lavigne smudge effect though, I'll trust in makeup. Up till now my old faithful liquid eyeliner has been working wonders. Applied right it can pretty much cheat lashes anyway, since it does what the real things do - elongate the eye, define it, make flicky shapes at the edges, but I'm finding it a bit boring doing the same thing everyday, plus I think a little off balanced having fewer and fewer bottom lashes - didn't think I'd miss these ones as much!
So now I am reunited with my old experimental friend, Nars Eyeliner in Blue Lotus. Where once I'd smudged it along my top lashes, made it into a slightly too electric smoke (hence relegation to the back up kit), This is now the PERFECT extra definition for bottom lashes only. Black would be too hard, brown too dull (colour is only ever a good thing for me these days), and drawn right along the inside rim, I don't even need the liquid flick on the top lashes. Plus, the magic of colour means my eyes look more, well, colourful. (Someone said ginger recently - ginger eyes? at least I have appropriate hair to match).
For now at least, the battle continues. When I feel the need for falsies, I'll report back, but for now, even 5 or 6 measly hangers on, mascara'd with some Blue Lotus Nars or liquid liner, gives enough of an illusion of lashes that even my iphone camera is fooled. Seriously, there is hardly any hair here. The tissues are a testament to that.
p.s. Thanks to lovely Helen in the office who maybe found my invoice induced crying a bit too much and left the kind gift above on my desk.