A Hairy Situation

Although I am lucky to have an entire wig wardrobe, I really cannot wait for one consistent hairstyle, that doesn't come off at the end of the day. Not least to help out the mail man at work. He was very hesitant to hand over my post today. When I managed to convince him it was me he said 'you look so different every day, I get confused'. Bless...

So, a progress report, in order of distance from the sun:

Head
Weirdly enough (or not so weirdly as I later found out), my head fluff started to grow back before my last cycle of chemo. Apparently this does happen quite often but they don't like to say to avoid disappointment. Instead I got neurotic about the chemo not working since it allowed my hair to break through.

If you can call it that. Mine is, on 16.21 on the 22nd June (happy birthday DadJokes btw), 3/4 inch long fluff. It's progressed from fuzz to actual ear-tickling fluff, but it's still not hair as such. Basically I look like a receding lesbian, so the wig is going to be the centre of my universe for a good few months yet, sorry mail man.

I try for a side parting every morning, just for fun, but so far the most exciting 'do I've managed is a minuscule Mohawk. I didn't even try, it just went like that and stayed there. Does this mean it'll be curly and unruly? Most likely.

Even though this June is less than delightful I'm still checking my met office app every day, willing it to stay cold so I can avoid the excessive wig-induced head sweats for as long as possible. To speed the process along I've been sent a Nioxin cleansing system by Salonlines. It's supposed to be good for chemo patients (apparently Kylie used it no less), so anything that speeds along the return of the pixie crop is good for me. I tried it for the first time this morning - till now I've been using Baby Shampoo - but that just doesn't feel very audacious of me, so I'll keep you posted.

Eyebrows
They're a bit shy, but definitely thinking about making a proper appearance very soon. Some little faint peeps here and there, just enough to get a better idea of where to put the brow pencil, but not enough to make the damn thing redundant just yet. I do look forward to that day. Still a few more weeks of man-made asymmetry to go there.

Eyelashes
I'm not sure why but these face-changing, look-transforming, lady-beautifying, instant pretty-making ESSENTIAL bits of hair are remaining in hiding. They sometimes threaten to show through, and I get disproportionately excited, but then they just don't. No matter how much Rapidlash I coax them out with, nope. Resolutely invisible.

Pits
This progress is difficult to measure since I had laser hair removal a few years ago. I am praying chemo doesn't reverse the effects, since I'm promised the challenge of hair removal cream (too chemical) v's razor (too lymphedema risky) is next.

Bits
Yes, a slight croppage - we'll leave it at that.

Legs
I have SHAVED them. There was one day when I could wear shorts without my eyes watering and this day necessitated shaving. Oh the happy joy of that arduous task. I'm surprised I didn't do some damage through lack of practice. To be honest, there wasn't a huge amount to get rid of, but still...! Hair removal was required!

In conclusion my extreme and slightly strange lash envy continues, whereby I gaze longingly at everyone else's, from waiters to colleagues, and wonder rapturously at how long they are. Even boys. Especially DadJokes, the generously lash endowed bastard. But I am happily learning to be bored of my hair removal regime again, like a normal woman should.  A normal lesbian looking woman with a seemingly receding hairline.

(disclaimer: I have met plenty of beautiful lesbians with long hair...)